Up From The Depths

We’ve pretty much hit the middle of summer and I have not posted in a very long time. Sorry about that. So here’s a bit of what’s been going on and a few excuses for my lack of posting.

We’ve moved out to our cottage for the summer. This means no internet access and no kids for six weeks. So there’s a lot of peace and quiet and relaxation going on. Oh, how I love summer.

On the flip side this also means that when I do go to the city to collect our mail and to grocery shop I always spend far too much time here than I would like to. I use that opportunity to cruise my kids’ camp website looking for their smiling faces amongst the hundreds of regularly posted photos and writing them emails so that they feel loved.It eats up a lot of time. My eldest sister just likened me to a beagle yesterday, I am highly distractable. She’s known me since birth and she knows me well. But really, beagles are very lovable even if they do wander. She’s a German Shepherd. There is no better family dog just don’t mess with them unless you’re part of the pack. It seems that once again I digress. It’s that wandering beagle thing.

I stopped blogging in June as things just became too busy around here. There were the regular preparations for summer camp (eight duffel bags to fill), final exams (increased household tension) and graduations from elementary and high school.

My emotions have been all over the place. I am very grateful to have reached this stage while at the same time feeling keenly aware of the passage of time. I am very excited for my eldest son who will be headed off either to university or to explore his gap year. What a promising time in his life. Of all our children he is the most like me. This means that he can make me absolutely nuts but it also means that we get one another. As excited as I am for him to embark on this phase of his life thinking about him leaving makes my eyes sting with unshed tears.

Things will never be the same again for my family, my favourite group of people. My son is going from being an integral member of our tight knit group to a visitor.

My children are laughing as well as puzzled by the resulting moodiness of their mother. One day when we were in the van the discussion turned to my son’s future flight from our nest. I thought that I heard his sister say something to the effect of “I don’t care if he leaves.” I immediately became enraged, turned to the back seat and let loose with a very loud and heartfelt “Well I care Sporty Girl, I care!!” I was met with three sets of furrowed brows and three dropped jaws. It seems that she said nothing of the sort. I am delusional as well as overly emotional. For a month following that incident whenever I would become emotional over something one of my children would look at me with a huge smile on his/her face and reply with, “Well I care Mummy, I care!”

It feels to me that time is becoming less and less constant. It seemed to take me forever to grow up and now I’m watching my children grow up over night. How is that possible?

I guess this is the bittersweet of life. Time must move on for us to experience life and love together but then that means that time is moving on.

I will head back to my cottage, stare out at the water and try to remember that life’s a beach.

I hope you all are enjoying your summer, they go so quickly.

 

FYI the picture at the top of the page is Artsy Boy who is now almost 18 and Sporty Girl who is now 12 way back when she allowed him to touch her.