Halloween Horror

I love, love, love Halloween. I love all national holidays that are not religious in nature and that allow me to feel just as Canadian as the next guy.

I have fond Halloween memories and oddly enough they’re not about the chocolate. My memories centre on my costumes. There were the years of being a clown, one year I wore a robe, cold cream and curlers – my mom told me to say that I was her in the mornings and there were a couple of years as Harpo Marx – wig not necessary.

Costumes are important. I love seeing the creativity, not knowing what some brilliant parent is going to come up with. I have a rule at my house, no costume no candy. Don’t you dare show up at my door without a costume, I don’t care if you are a big menacing teenager with a dozen eggs hidden under your coat, you will not get candy from me. Creating these costumes for my kids are my personal Halloween horror. You see, I am neither crafty nor creative.

My kids have learned that they need to come up with the costume ideas. If it doesn’t call for a needle and thread or glue or staples I can probably manage to execute the idea – you may use whichever meaning of execute you choose to, they both fit.

My daughter is a real sport about her costumes. She knows of my limited capabilities and doesn’t hold them against me. This morning I heard her brother suggest “Why don’t you be an oompa loompa?” Is he insane? A friend of his was an oompa loompa – his mother SEWED the entire costume. Crikey!! My daughter just looked at him and said, “No, I’m good.”

We’d brainstormed for a while last night. Of course this was the first year that the kids were allowed to wear their costumes to school – today. Her first thought was that she could be a box, we have some left over from our move this summer. My very creative, crafty sister squelched that idea with one word “lame”. Auntie Kalliope gave it the thumbs down so no go. However, she did suggest that we do a repeat of a couple of years ago and that my daughter could go as static cling again. My daughter declined. Then I thought that we could tape the box to the side of her jacket and she could go as someone thinking outside the box. That got a maybe. She suggested that she go as caffeine, all dressed in brown with pipe cleaners formed into spirals all over her. I loved the idea only two small problems, she doesn’t own any brown clothing and we don’t have any pipe cleaners (too crafty for my home). I suggested she go as depression all dressed in black with a grey, sad face. She said maybe but she prefers to be a shadow so she can smile and laugh.

Then she decided on what she finally wants to be, “How about a classic ghost in a sheet?” Brilliant. I even have plain (off white) sheets that I was going to throw away. So we got the sheet, she cut the eye holes and we were good to go.

This morning she showed her costume to her oompa loompa loving brother. He came into the kitchen and said to me, “So my sister’s going out as a Moslem woman in a burkah?”

Help. I really need help with this costume issue.

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5 responses to “Halloween Horror

  1. Oy. How about sending her out as one of the creepiest and weirdest characters in fiction…Miss Havesham from Great Expectations. You can do it up with something that resembles a tattered lace dress, one shoe on, ripped stockings, messy hair and so on. Just a suggestion – good luck.

  2. I have never célébrantes halloween and do not intend to. It seems to have no roots for me, neither religious nor historical. Hope I don’t sound like a joy killer.

  3. I spent the weekend on the subway with all sorts of weirdos like Super Mario Brothers, oops they weren’t weirdos they were people going to Halloween parties. I saw one young lady in a trenchcoat dressed as a flasher. I’m beginning to think the box wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

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