My Clean Fetish

When I was a little girl I was boy crazy. Chase boys around the school yard, catch ’em and kiss ’em kind of crazy.

As I entered high school I was no less boy crazy but I was incredibly shy. If I hadn’t been so shy I think I could have become a great sprinter.

Some of my crushes still make sense to me and some of them just puzzle me. I had a crush on the son of one of my mom’s friends. This makes sense. He was handsome. On occassion he would babysit us. I loved it when he babysat us. I don’t think he did anything special I just think that I got to stare at him and he couldn’t do anything about it. That was enough for me. Until, one day when it wasn’t. His whole family was over visiting. I was gazing at his handsomeness and I was overcome. I had to do something. So I did the only thing a little girl could do. I attacked him. Tried to catch him and kiss him. He got away. They always got away. My sister went running for my mother – snitchcat that she was. My mom probably heard the screaming anyway. His younger brother looked at me and said, “I’m getting out of here before she tries that with me!” I remember thinking, “Are you kidding me?”

I don’t think he sat again for us. My sister just recently told that she also had a crush on the same boy and that MY mother would let her stay up extra late when he sat so she could get some time with him without me around. Et tu Mother?

The biggest question in all of this is where was my oldest sister who was never allowed to go out and always had to babysit us, but I digress.

O.K., so that was one crush that I still understand. But here’s one that leaves me a little confused. He was an older man, about thirty years older than me. He wore an earring back in the day when only pirates wore earrings. He was bald. Boy, did he have muscles! Did I mention that he was a cartoon? He was none other than Mr. Clean. Yes, the cartoon spokesperson for a cleaning product made my little heart go pitter patter. Did I know back then that I would grow up to hate house cleaning? Was it the muscles? The combination of good boy clean white t-shirt and bad boy earring? I cannot begin to guess. Whenever I see Mr. Clean these days, and yes we have maintained a relationship all these years and my husband even approves, I just smile to myself. What a goofy kid I was.

I may still be a little goofy because whenever I see my husband cleaning the kitchen my heart skips a beat. There’s nothing like a man who knows how to clean and who does it without me!

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6 responses to “My Clean Fetish

  1. You sure can make me laugh. I remember it all so well (of course I do). I even remember some of your other crushes, but all is not for public consumption. I’m the vault! I guess there were some nights that I was allowed free from my servitude.

  2. I was wierd too… I had a crush on the chests in Stollery’s windows. Remember them? I did think just yesterday that the best thing about me being back on Bloor St…. you got it the windows are still there.

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