Yesterday I got to watch Papa Bear play in a charity hockey game. A friend of ours started up a hockey team for people with special needs. The players range in age from 12 to 66. There are two females on the team. Once a year they play a game against the ‘docs’. Once a year my husband plays hockey.
I remember the first time I watched him play hockey. He was an intern and I believe that it may have been an all intern team. We had been dating for about a year and I watched him with all of the pride of a devoted girlfriend. I was dazzled, he could even skate backwards! Was there anything that he wasn’t capable of?
Fast forward 23 years. I don’t exactly want to be there, but I want to support our friend’s team and oh yeah, the husband too. I watch him skate out onto the ice. He looks good. Oh, whoops, that’s not him. Oh, there he is. He looks kind of lanky, kind of skinny. How has he managed to pass 23 years, have 4 kids (Oh wait, I actually had the kids) a crazy schedule with irregular exercise and he’s still thin. I resent that, just a little and it doesn’t feel good. He’s the kind of guy who on Monday can say, “I think I should drop a few pounds.” and then on Wednesday says, “Hey, look at that. I’m down five pounds.” It’s hard not to resent that. He also says things like, “I’m starving, when’s dinner? I forgot to eat all day.” Who does that? I’ve forgotten to pack a bra in my gym bag after I’ve gone to the Y for a swim (wearing my swim suit under my clothes) but I’ve never actually forgotten to eat a meal, been too busy sure, but forget? That just won’t happen, ever.
As I was watching him the resentment quickly disappeared only to be replaced with concern/fear. My inner dialogue went something like this, “Oh my G-d his back. Please, please, please don’t let him injure his back. It’s been so good since his second surgery, please, please, please be careful. That one player is kind of aggressive, did he notice? Stay away from that player. His heart. What about his heart? Hockey is known for causing heart attacks in weekend warriors. You just sit around until your turn and then the cardio activity is suddenly ramped up. This can’t be good. Please don’t have a heart attack. Watch your back. Watch your back and your heart. Geeze it’s cold in here. My toes are freezing. My nose is cold. My butt is freezing. I’m cold I want to go home. I don’t want to see him get hurt. I don’t even like hockey.”
The game ended. We both lived through it. My girlfriend whose son was playing turned to me as the guys were heading down to the change room and said, “Your husband was so funny. He said that he felt like he was having a heart attack.”
Yeah, he’s soooo funny. Next year we’re going to make a donation to the team. He’s not allowed to play again. I’m grounding him.
When did all of this aging happen? Physically, I can’t really think of anything that I like about aging. I dislike all of these changes. As my kids would say, aging is bush league.