So here’s an unusual admission for you from a woman, I don’t like romance. This is not just something that I’ve convinced myself of so that I’ll be happy with my life, this is the way that I’ve always been. I have never trusted romantic men.
This is my reasoning, I’m a pragmatist. I like reality without the rose coloured glasses. Don’t try to sweep me off my feet with flowers and chocolates. Pick up the broom and sweep around the kitchen table after dinner. As I see it, it comes down to this, life and marriage are filled with day to day drudgery and I need someone who will be my partner in this. There’s a reason that all of the chick lit novels are written about single people finding one another, heck even Jane Austen ended her novels at the weddings. Long haul marriages are filled with the real stuff like diapers, paying bills, cooking, laundry, P.T.A. meetings, staff meetings, committee meetings, piano lessons, ski lessons, and a million other fun things. This is the stuff of life, it can be messy and it’s often boring. I need someone who will be my partner in this, not someone who expects a woman with a constant smile on her face and sparkle in her eye.
These are the things that are romantic or better than romantic to me; the surprise of having my gas tank filled, warming the car up before I have to get in and drive the kids to school, a shoveled driveway, swooping up a baby to change a diaper without being asked, watching my husband play catch with the kids or play anything with them, deflecting my anger when I’ve lost the ability to parent effectively, letting me sleep in on the weekend without my asking,reviewing the day with me late at night in bed, treating me with respect each and every day, valuing my opinion, knowing that I can trust you around ANY woman and my favourite, holding me in your arms like I’m the most important thing in the world to you.
Keep your flowers, your candlelit dinners and your chocolates, they’re nice but they’re not what I want. However, jewelry, is always gratefully accepted. 😉
Frozenchallah's Blog 
You do like romance… the things that are romantic to you are still romance. You can’t love Jane Austen and not think that you have a romantic soul. Personally, being hit by a mack truck hasn’t taught me not to cross the road, it just taught me to look both ways next time. I think romance is someone who cooks dinner for you when you’re too tired, or someone who gets your jokes, and makes you laugh till your sides hurt. How about just someone who will play with you in the snow and you never feel like shoving their face in it… get it, romance is anything that makes you feel special
Kalliope, You’ll never get me to admit to being romantic. I also do not like unicorns and only like actual rainbows after a rain and I have never, ever dotted an “i” with a heart. I would never not throw snow in his face, that would just be a wasted opportunity.
Frozen, like you I don’t think it’s romance we want, it’s love. Love that is returned in kind, love that says “I appreciate you”. Keep the candlelight – give me consideration anyday.
Big, that’s exactly what I’m talking about.
I would love to have a warmed-up car in this weather! I agree with bigshvester – it’s love. Romance is the fleeting tickle-in-your-gut feeling, but love is the real thing. I think I learned once that there’s no word for romance in Hebrew, which somehow means that it’s not really a real thing.
Love is my husband going to the store to get me pareve chocolate ice cream ’cause I’ve had a tiring day and I’m fleishig. Love that man.
Your husband sounds like a great guy. First the card, now the ice cream. I can still be surprised by that tickle in my gut every now and then and I do love it. Interesting that the word doesn’t exist in Hebrew, kind of surprising though. You would think that if they’ve managed to come up with so many new words in modern Hebrew they must have come up with one for romance.
They probably have one in modern Hebrew, but it may be borrowed from another language, like “kif” for fun is really from Arabic, and “balagan” for, uh, balagan is really Russian.