Today is my son’s 16th birthday.
The years have flown by while the days (many of them at least) have moved more slowly. If I think really hard I can just remember that desperate need to have a child. The road to conception was not easy and when at my very lowest point I feared that it would never happen I just couldn’t believe it would be so. I remember taping up pictures of babies all around my bed and getting a pregnant girlfriend to roll around on the bed. Positive energy, all of it. I also remember the fertility treatments, the ups and downs of each cycle. My specialist looking me in the eye and telling me
that I’m a very fertile woman. I looked back at her in disbelief, four children turned
me into a believer. I remember hating every woman who complained about the appearance of her pregnant body.
Then the joy and the fear. The joy of being pregnant. Even the nausea was welcome, it meant pregnancy. It made me popular with my nieces and nephews as I always had Jolly Rancher candies in my purse – the sour seemed to ease the nausea and the candies did not bother my teeth like the lemon slices. The fear of the delivery. Why do all women need to share their horrible labour stories with pregnant women? Just don’t do it. It’s mean.
A panic attack before induction – a quick call to my sister to calm me. An epidural and an easy delivery less painful than a teeth cleaning. A wonderful, beautiful baby boy with huge feet. My first miracle baby.
A love so intense that I knew I had to have another baby so that I would divide my focus and give this child some breathing room. But oh the joy of an unconditional love like no other.
Falling in love with my husband all over again as I watched him become Daddy. Seeing that his love for this baby of ours is as intense as mine is, he just always appeared more relaxed about it than I did.
16 years of tears, fighting, imagination, laughter (a lot of laughter) and always love. A sensitive young man with a wicked sense of humor, artistic talent that I envy and
the soul of a poet. How many children love old people? He’s always got something interesting to say and I love being with him even though he drives me crazy.
Happy Birthday to my favorite artist in the world.